Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Almost 12 am

Today is seriously one of the most saddest days ever for me, but it's my fault. All my friends are graduating except for me. Even though i'll be graduating next year it's still sad and upsetting to see them go and graduate together while I stay back and have one extra year. I feel as if their living in 2013 and i'm living in the 70's. I'm happy for them, I wont complain anymore I just gotta just keep it moving and move the fuck on AAGGHHHH!!!!!!!! I wanna cry but I cant let it out, I should of just stayed on top of my shit and got through high school like normal kids but I wanted to be a rebel and ditch school so here I am. I'll be done and graduating class of 2014, my brother also graduated a year later like me I swear it's a curse. I just hate school,but that's no excuse. I am still here living, breathing, and drinking soy caramel  frappuccinos so the worlds not over, just make the best of your situation and don't make the same mistake. Oh and by the way it's almost 12am and i'm doing homework, listening to depressing music, and venting to who ever is listening......well reading. So I guess know one lmao.

Monday, May 27, 2013


In September a part of my life begins, seeing my face illuminate in the reflection of his ray bans excites me for that day, within that little moment I feel safer, stronger, happier, and free. I am no longer the oldest I can feel as if i'm a child again for a few weeks then it's gone. It's two gifts in one my brother being home and me being able to hold on to my youth for yet another month. I can feel again, within this month I kid you not I feel perfect, everything is how it's supposed to be no questions asked. It's just something about family that gets you going, it's a god giving gift. To feel whole, when there gone to miss them dearly, to reminiscence about old times as it draws a smile to your face, to wish upon something to be together, long nights of prayer for their health, safety and return, knowing in your heart you wish nothing but greatness in their future, embracing their flaws loving them for who they are and who they want to become in my case. It changes ones perception because they come to understand how that loved one feels so they have a different perspective of all their "kind". It's a beautiful thing to see love, the love of god it's just amazing. Can't wait ti'll September to fuck up some shit with my brother and his girlfriend ;)!

PS: He's an army man.

Monday, May 13, 2013






I found Majestic back in 2012, I remember thinking I was the shit because I had found a new way to discover music and photography at the same time. I thought I was different "A hipster", I don't even wanna be a hipster the meaning  has been taken out of context but anyways.....Majestic is a music channel on YouTube that combines music and photography. If your a music junkie like me I suggest you check him out! He's freaking AH-MA-ZING! When people ask me what type of music I listen to I say majestic music, they usually look at me like i'm "cray cray" lmao but then I tell them to look it up and they fall in love. So look up majestic give him a shot! Here's the link:    



Life is a difficult thing to pick apart, there are so many unanswered questions that we have. Where will I be in 10 years, when will I die, does god love me, where do we go from here. We are constantly pondering about our future and life. What life has in store for us , why are we hear, what do we want to do. It's hard as hell to come to realize that you have no control of your future, we don't. I feel god plans everything we did, do, and are going to do. It's in our fate, what motivates us is our soul, our heart, our dreams. Wanting a better life we all strive to become something were not, something we want to become, having a meaning and making a purpose. I believe everyone has a part in making the world a better place before we pass over. We all have seeds to plant before we die and it's up to us how tall, strong, and ripe our fruits will grow to feed the next generation so they can do the same. It's a repeated cycle, everything we have done has been done before us. We all have the right to be happy, live your life, love god, and spread love, There's so much hate for no damn reason. I wish life was more like an 80's musical at times :p. Just aspire to become, and dream until your black and blue. 

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Being Yourself

                    Debbie Harry and Marilyn Monroe are two women I think are amazing whether it's Debbie's punk and edge or Marilyn's glamour and beauty. Both women held themselves in a way that made them stand out. I love love Debbie's Fashion sense it's much like mine "a young rebel" ;). While Marilyn's makeup was always impeccable! Both women set trends and opened doors for many women just by being themselves. When your yourself and free spirited your happy and people pick up on that and take note. When your yourself you influence others to be themselves, it takes true courage but it's totally worth it! It's always fascinating to me to see different types of people and what makes them happy. Some people might call others weird, or "emo" whatever the case is but we all are weird and different in our own way! Instead of being afraid of things we don't know we should be more receptive and entertained to learn something new, see a new lifestyle, experience life through another's eyes. Not everyone is going to be receptive but when you find the ones who are it feels amazing!


A change is taking place in me for the better, I have my whole life ahead of  me and the only thing that stops me from reaching my dreams is myself. I'm tired of the self doubt, tired of the pity, and tired of living life as something i'm not. True happiness exudes from within, and it's contagious. Your happiness and joy is what puts a smile on someones face and gives them hope to be happy through their trials. So being happy at heart is the most important to me, and i'm not going to let anyone or anything take it away from me, happiness is a divine right the everyone deserves. With happiness comes love, love is beyond what words can say. You can feel it running through your blood, it gives you chills, it's powerful and it takes over. Love can make you do things you never would have done without it. It's just beautiful love is so pure, we all could use a little love. With love comes peace, peace comes in many forms but it always reflects back to love. I feel this is what we were made to do just love, be happy, and live our lives! Hopefully I will be able to spread it around the world with this little bit inside of me.